I am not sure what I will do with the bike. It would be ashamed to have it just sit & not be enjoyed by someone. Especially in the ways Mark and I enjoyed the bike. On the other hand, keeping it almost makes me feel that Mark is alive in some way.........I still have most of his clothes, all of his special treasures, but of all the memories I have.......this bike is the one thing that makes me feel Mark's presence the most.
My heart is still on the mend. I get up every day with a broken heart. I have worked through many broken bones (legs,arms,pelvis, etc), but some days it seem almost impossible if not harder to work with a broken heart. I put on my happy face, but deep down inside I have this pain, that nothing and no one, but me can do anything about.........It's been 10-months, but for me it still feels like yesterday when I lost the LOVE OF MY LIFE.
My eyes ache to see Mark one more time. My ears yearn to hear his voice, his laugh and to hear him say, "I LOVE YOU KIDD"......just ONE more time......I would do anything to feel the touch of his strong hands. I felt so safe with him. He was always watching out for me and protecting me. Now it's just me......Me against the world.
I spend a lot of time in the yard, because that is another thing that makes me feel close to Mark. I remember seeing him every morning out in the yard, raking, watering, and feeding the birds. Now I'm the one there making sure the yard stays nice and the the birds stay happy. I find myself talking to Mark out loud......
I miss you Honeybear..........OH SO VERY, VERY VERY........... much! I can't wait until the day we can be together again!
We are only a heart beat away!
